Saturday, 21 October 2017

Running a Peasant Meat Grinder in 5E D&D

Hello folks. It's been a while since I've posted anything here. So I've been working on a few things, one of which I just ran tonight; a peasant meat grinder, or character funnel style adventure. The setting was England-ish in the nebulous past where flintlock guns were a thing, but swords were still common. In order to facilitate this game, I build a random character generator and a few alternate rules. Something to note, because this game was set in the pseudo-real world, and not your typical fantasy setting, the random characters are all human. Without further ado, here you go, the 5E Peasant Mob Generator:
Building your Mob of Angry Peasants

Step 1: Determine your stats by, in descending order, rolling 3d6+1 and assigning it to the stat. (eg. Roll for 3d6+1 Strength, then 3d6+1 for Dexterity, and so on)

Step 2: Roll (1d4+ Con Modifier [minimum of 1]) for Hit Points

Step 3: Roll for Gear

What weapon did you bring to get vengeance on the Countess and her monsters?

You brought... (Roll 1d100)
0-8...a chair leg. (Light, 1d4 B)
9-13...a chair leg studded with hobnails (Light, 1d6 B)
14-18...a knife. (Finesse, Light, Thrown 20/60, 1d4 P)
19-23...a cleaver (Light, 1d4 S)
24-28...a hatchet (Light, 1d6 S)
29-33...your grandfather's wood axe...well, sort of. You've had to replace the handle twice and the head once. (1d6 S, Versatile [1d8])
34-49...a pitchfork. Modern classic of peasant mobs. (1d6 P, Versatile [1d8])
50-54...a fireplace poker (1d6 B)
55-59...a shortbow with 12 arrows (Ammunition, range 80/320, Two-handed, 1d6 P)
60-64...a quarterstaff (1d6 B, Versatile [1d8])
65-69...darts. Bigger than an arrow, smaller than a javelin, Murderhobo staple. You have (1d4) of them (Finesse, Thrown 20/60, 1d4 P)
70...your fists. You ain't never punched a witch afore! Git 'er done! (Punches deal 1d4 B)
71-73...a smith's hammer (1d6 B)
74-76...your trusty musket. Did I say trusty? I meant rusty. Has enough bullets and powder for 10 shots (Ammunition, Range 40/120, Firearm, two-handed, 1d12 P )
77-79...a brace of pistols with bullets and powder for 10 shots (Ammunition, Light, Range 30/90, Firearm, 1d10 P )
80...a greatsword. Why do you have a greatsword? If this option has been rolled before, re-roll. (Heavy, two-handed, 2d6 S)
81-84...a shovel (Two-handed, 1d6 B)
85-86...a longsword (1d8, Versatile [1d10]
87-89...a flintlock pistol with bullets and powder for 5 shots (Ammunition, Light, Range 30/90, Firearm, 1d10 P )
90-91...a large knife for clearing brush (1d6 S)
92-93...a sickle (Light, 1d4 S)
94-95...a crossbow with 12 bolts (Ammunition, range 80/320, Loading, Two-handed, 1d8 P) oar (Two-handed, 1d8 B)
98...a pickaxe (Two-handed, 1d10 P)
99...a cavalry sabre (1d8 S)

What did you bring to help the mob extract justice?

You brought...Roll 1d100
0-25...a torch and the tinderbox to light it. Classic tool of the angry peasant mob.
26-30...several torches, in case your friends forgot (1d4+1)
31-35...a few burlap sacks (1d4+1)
36-40...a small cask of gunpowder (explodes to deal 3d6 fire damage to creatures within 10 feet of it. A successful DC 12 Dexterity saving throw halves the damage. Setting fire to 1d6 worth of gunpowder causes it to flare for 1 round, shedding bright light in a 30-foot radius and dim light for an additional 30 feet.)
41-55...some hemp rope, 50ft of it
56...a wooden shield (+2 AC)
57...a steel helmet (+1 AC)
58...leather armour (AC 11+ Dex Mod)
59-63...a crowbar
64-65...a flask of lamp oil
66-67...a candelabra with 5 candles
68-69...a flask of holy water
70...a ladder
71...a 10 foot pole
72...a set of manacles you don't have keys for
73...a set of manacles you do have keys for
74-79...a set of thieves tools
80...chains, 20 feet worth
81...a bucket of liquid tar
82...a grappling hook, but no line
83-86...a lantern with two flasks of oil
87-96...a tinderbox
97...your pet hound
98...a rusty breastplate (AC 14+Dex Mod [maximum 2])
99...leather armour and an old pot for a helmet (AC 12+ Dex Mod

What personal items are you carrying with you?

You brought...Roll 1d100
0-10...a bible and crucifix
11...a magic wand!...or maybe it's just a stick. The traveler who sold it to you swore it was magic though.
12-15...your goat, Princess. If anyone else rolls this result, they are co-owners of the goat
16-18...a few yards of fine linen (1d3+1 yards)
19...a warm hat
20-25...a music instrument of choice
26-28...1d6 pairs of gloves
29-30...1d6 gloves
31...a change of pants
32...a silver knife (Finesse, Light, Thrown 20/60, 1d4 P)
33...your ability to conjure a ball of sparks (Spell attack, Charisma to hit, range 20ft, 1d4 Radiant)
34-35...a bundle of firewood
36...calligrapher's supplies
37-40...a (1d6) pound bag of salt
41-43...two chickens on leashes
44-45...a pound of flour impressive collection of tattoos
47-50...a (2d4) pound bag of nightsoil
51...a manual titled “The Art of Herding Doves”, written in Romanian
52...a set of drama masks
53...a taxidermied monkey
54...a live (very angry) monkey in a cage
55...just your ability to magically conjure a single piece of wicker furniture
56-60...a string of rosary beads
61-65...a pouch of (1d20) copper coins
66-68...a bucket, a bar of soap, and a rag
69...a roast chicken
70...a paperback copy of the novel “The Group” by Mary McCarthy, written in Esperanto
71-74...1d4 glass bottles
75... your ability to speak with plants empty clay jug that can hold up to 1 litre
79...a reliquary containing the fake finger bones of a saint
80...a reliquary containing the real finger bones of a fake saint
81...a reliquary containing the fake finger bones of a fake saint
82...a reliquary containing the real finger bones of a saint (can heal 1d4 HP once, if the owner spends a round in prayer)
83...a small velvet bag with the words “crown royal” written on it.
84...a set of wooden clogs covered in delicately carved runes (These shoes grant advantage on any attempt to dance)
85-90...a bible
91-95...a crucifix
96...a pamphlet called “How to Identify a Witch- Now with Pictures!” anti-tiger charm (When held, the character can make an opposed Charisma check to repel tigers)
98...the Countess's mail, mostly bills

99...a tinderbox

And here are the alternate rules:

Rolling Over The Bodies (Replaces Death Saving Throws)
When a character reaches 0 hit points, they are in a state of flux. They are either alive and stunned, or they are dead. If circumstances exist that death is the only option (passing, head first, through an enormous meat grinder, for example) then the character is dead, no questions asked. If there is an ambiguity, then characters may attempt to Roll Over the Bodies. If a character has some uninterrupted time with the body, without any significant threat, their player declares they are rolling over a downed character's body. The downed character's player then rolls a d20. If the roll is 10 or higher, the roll succeeds and the character stands up with 1 hit point and disadvantage on all rolls for an hour. If the player rolls a 20, the character does not have a period of disadvantage. Rolling below a 10 means the character's wounds were too severe, and they are dead. Rolling over the bodies may not be done during combat, or while currently in danger from a trap or environmental hazard.

New Weapon Property
Firearm. Because of the time required to load this weapon, it requires 1 round to return this weapon to a loaded state.

In addition to automatic success or failure on natural rolls of 1 or 20, attacks also consult the critical tables below. To use these tables, roll 1d8, modified by your Charisma modifier.

Critical Hits
-1 or less: Deal an additional 1d4 damage
0-3: Deal an additional 1d6 damage
4-7: You crush your foe's hand, or whatever they use to attack. They are unable to attack next round
8-10: Your foe is disarmed and knocked prone. You deal an additional 1d4 damage.
11-12: You make an immediate, second attack for free

Critical Fumbles
-1 or less: You've colossally fucked up. You take your normal damage +1, disarm yourself, and fall prone
0-3: You deal your normal attack damage to yourself
4-7: Your nearest enemy has advantage on their attack against you
8-10: You disarm yourself
11-12: You slip and fall prone

The critical tables could use some work, honestly, but there you go.

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